But I had no friends at that time in Hyderabad. Even if I went out, what would I have done then?
As evening approached, our mutual friend called her. I overheard their conversation. No good. I decided to stay in the room; there was no point in going outside and roaming aimlessly. I rather tried to sleep.
After some time, I woke up hearing the laughter and tinkling of glasses. The party had started. The walls were thin enough to let you hear the conversations a bit. I sat on my bed thinking… the times gone by. I called our friend. “I think it’s better if we end this,” – I said. “Don’t give up yet” – she said so; she didn’t want us to fall apart. But given the time, everything was futile.
Around 11:30, everyone left. She and our flatmate stayed there on the couch. Then, I heard them discussing about me.
All I could feel was her anger but having our flatmate involved… I couldn’t accept that. He didn’t even know me and the time me and my ex had gone through. He knew nothing until the time… maybe when my ex had a breakdown after the phone call from my parents. He didn’t know the struggle we… or say I had gone through. So how could he be the judge? People don’t get charged for receiving opinions. So others deliver without even thinking the colossal damage they might cause.
I stormed out of the room. “Can you come inside? I want to talk” – after she entered, I made her sit on the bed, and I knelt down. “See, I thought a lot and… yes, we should get over each other. I don’t want to bother you, or I can’t see you in pain. So this is the end,” I said with a heavy heart, and with a pause, I said again – “Are you happy now?”
“Stop making me feel guilty” – tears again rolled down. And again, the past was dug up who had done what to save the relationship. There was a kind of uproar; it caused the flatmate to enter. I am glad he at least asked if he could intervene, join us in the discussion.
The discussion went long… maybe till 3 in the morning. And I got myself a flight booked back to my home. She was scared of a situation that might happen, escalating from the scenario we had at our hands. So I had to go. I have had enough there.
In fact, I was not over her even then. I returned. Nothing seemed alright. I felt nauseous, and the scenes from the incident before kept reflecting like nightmares. It seemed as if I got plowed from both the ends – my family and the relationship that got over, thanks to the circumstances.
As January 2021 dawned, I tried to get along with my responsibilities- at the office and home. As me and my ex were still flatmates, there was some exchange of messages. One day, she said she wanted to date a guy. I wanted to say ‘No,’ but I had no choice. As time passed, my care for her hadn’t ceased until… one day, I heard from our common friend that she had compared me with the other guy. And… it was the last nail in the coffin.
“I had loved her a lot, tried to shield her, and then receiving all the painful things she hurled at me, the most agonizing one being-to be compared with someone else!”
I had to let out the anguish somehow. So one day, I really got into a heated argument over the call. We argued and shouted back at each other… and it was the end of the line.
How strange yet real is it that a bond forged over time can be influenced by situations and third parties. There can be two situations that can influence a person – you are arguing with your boyfriend/girlfriend, and you open up about it before a person, even your friend, who has the least idea about the boy/girl you are talking about.
“Oh… I am sorry, this happened to you” OR “just leave him/her… he/she is not worth it”
Pity or negative impressions coming from others having the least knowledge can fan a sensitive situation out of proportion… the situation, having the slightest chance of amendment. And then there are sycophants, ready to take advantage of the situation.
After this, I still struggled a little to get on with my life. Maybe it got better also. A few months later, my ex said ‘Sorry’. I had moved on by then. But, what I had least expected – it would come full circle this year…